A fresh start?

So the title of my blog is A Fresh Start. Here I am again, making another fresh clean start.

This is hard for me to admit because I was taught better than this. And intellectually I knew better. But my self control (or lack of) got the better of me.

I need to come clean. I can't keep it all bottled up inside of me anymore and think maybe if I spew it out here (for the world to potentially see), maybe I will feel better about it all.

A little over a year ago, I switched banks. First National Bank of St. Louis can kiss my ass. They were rude and not at all customer friendly. When I switched to the so far fabulous USBank, Netflix, which requires automatic payments from a credit/debit card, had issues with my new account and wouldn't accept my debit card information. I didn't want to cancel Netflix and since it wouldn't work, decided I would get my first credit card. I told myself it was only for Netflix and I'd pay it off each month, after all, I was used to the 15 or so bucks coming out of my account each month anyway. No big deal. Got a card with no annual fee, low interest rate, etc. Seemed like a good deal. And it would have been had I exhibited any form of self-control. I was good about it at first. But I quickly began living above my means and buying things for fun.

Things spiraled out of control. And now I have a monster credit card bill to pay off, student loan debt, car payment, etc... I know I'm not the first person in this situation and I won't be the last. And I know others have been here but even worse off. So I have to keep my chin up and do what I have to do each month to get it paid down/off.

So I sat down a couple weeks ago (maybe just a week ago... time is weird) and created my budget for my paycheck. I got paid today and got a bunch of checks sent out and bills paid. But after paying all my bills and budgeting for the bills that haven't come yet but will before October 20th... I have a less than 30 dollars. I bought gas today so I have a full tank. I have a grocery list started that I have gone back and revised... who needs soy sauce, I can just use extra salt. Who needs lettuce, I can get that at school (I've already paid for a month of school lunches). Who needs juice... I can drink water. Remaining are a few key things to keep me fed and happy for a month.

The good news is, if I can manage this one hard bleak month, I will have more cushion next month. Of course with that cushion, I am going to pay off even more of my debt. And that's how things are going to go until I get things taken care of.

This time, I will have self control. This time, I will come out okay. A fresh start indeed.